MMA Man Jailed : Bad Move was Sexual Assault

“He rolled the man’s legs over his head, and his tuckus was sticking out. The man just kept leaning his pelvis on his tuckus,” relayed spectator Melvin Brown.

We asked the victim for a quick statement: “He wouldn’t make a move, he just hung there pressing my legs against the canvas. It was humiliating, and I’m making him pay alimony after the match, since he was practically b#ttf#cking me. My entire extended family was there 44 of them watching me get drilled.”

We’ve all seen the video by now, Jerry Mattley was not given a fighting chance. “It’s not supposed to be that easy, to pin a man’s legs over his head like that,” said Master Chong who runs the dojo. “Technique-wise, it’s good – if it was real combat and he had a dagger to follow up with, he would have won. But, in training, we really make sure no student b#ttf#cks another student. It’s bad for the business.”

No court hearing was required, as both the offending athlete and the ref agreed to their punishment after arbitration: The ref was jailed for 7 days for not stopping the assault. The athlete was jailed for 60 days and he is now a registered sex offender, with a $400 a month alimony payment for the next 11 years.

The victim issued a final statement: “I won because he was into it. It was a power move and yeah it was sexual. I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna pamper myself with that $400 coming in every month. Either a new car or some new underwear, something sexy to forget about it.”