“The minute we declared the taller height preference as racist, it sent bimbo brains into an infinite-glitch loop. This isolated trend conflicts with their mind-numbing cancel culture. They’re scared to be cancelled and also scared to not lap up whatever […]
The cooking world is afire as edgy new cookbook just hit the mainstream scene. The recipes include controversial steps, like: stirring pots of food with an unwashed foot, squeezing dough through toes, and gargling sauces before spitting them into the […]
“Things are looking really bleak for the franchise, after the leak, the public has lost serious interest. They’re really into mocking us though.” A New Toy Story movie set for release has been leaked, but makers are struggling to reverse […]
Shiela Makk had never been happier, as her boyfriend Terry Mandovin proposed on their third adults only trip to Disney World. “We opened the park three days in a row, and really loved the magic of our yearly adventure. We […]
Mary Castaneda was considered a diligent worker, loyal to the mayor’s office she served. Months ago, she was devastated at the continuous flow of online comments calling her ‘Do-Do Head’, an effort directed at her by a political rival. She […]
32 large burly Midwestern men gathered in what they labeled the “Beginning Tribunal”. In downtown Indianapolis, passersby stand afar, watching as swords, machine guns, and a series of spartan spears annihilate 72 mysterious objects that some say looked at first […]
Kanye West has revived the Yeezi Brand as his own brand, separate from Adidas, naming them Fasheezi’s. His eccentricity appears to be fairing as the shoe looks exactly like a Nerf Spiral Football blended into a giant block of memory […]
Sue Maginny’s goat is locally famous, and is now maybe the most famous goat in the world. It all began with the day Sue had two antique lights installed. “My pet goat, Buxley, couldn’t resist. As soon as the installer […]
While most people resist the idea of Sharia Law, some advocates insist it does not go far enough. “Let’s respect the spirit of the original documents, not just take them literally. The spirit says more is good. More Sharia then, […]
54 year old Jack Styles has been reunited with his unforgotten twenty dollar bill used to snort cocaine for an entire year in 1989. “It’s been like 19 years since I’ve seen this thing, and it brings back so many […]
