“If the whole school is given these retribution rights, that’s a punishment of up to 1,100 face p#ss#ngs every day, in a public stockade, for seven straight years. Yes that’s a deterrent. During year 8, weekly Russian roulette begins,” said […]
Josh Bentley lost his job three weeks ago, fired by “Backstabbing managers who turn everything good into a toxic waste fire,” as he frequently describes in his new Youtube cooking channel monologue. “It’s clear he’s not over the situation. Many […]
A few months after being thawed out, learning English, and seeing how the modern world operates, Caveman Ted Booga is throwing in the towel, requests to be re-frozen to try again at a future date, when humanity will hopefully be […]
“The song is expected at every wedding: it’s a matter of improving working conditions. I’m tired of watching the men shift into that drunken redneck swagger. It’s the equivalent of backwoods poetry, and it’s just not working for us anymore, […]
Japan may be on the verge of a cure to tooth loss. Subcultures weigh in on possibilities of tooth growing medication. While intrinsic tooth repair could really help the general public, it turns out alternative subcultures wait with anticipation, some […]
“We just need the real experience, and mobile games are not that,” said legendary gamer Willie Knox. Some pro gamers are getting impatient waiting for laptops and mobile devices to power up their most graphic intensive games. “I used some […]
Executive secretary found hidden email that revealed the not-so-pleasant surprise about MacD’s prices, and the quality of food: foodcost: 22 cents for a cheeseburgerfoodcost: 11 cents for a fish sandwichBurger Meat: 93% cow skin / 11% foreskinIce Cream: 38% antifreezeApple […]
Putin now wants a smaller target that may be harder to get, as desires to take over Ukraine are shifting. Vladimir announces to the public, “My career coach says, pick something that will challenge you, but not use up all […]
“My neighbors looked a little weird, but they seemed okay when they stopped by to say hello. I stepped onto the porch for a work call, and left them in the living room with some cookies. That’s when I heard […]
“I finally realized something really is different, I seen it in the hidden camera footage. There she’s putting pickle juice in my pecan pie. My corn cobbler has a heavy pour of molasses and white vinegar. My green bean casserole […]
