“She can no longer spit on that thang, and she’s devastated,” said close friend Missy Tauns. “It’s a good thing she cashed in so fast, because her hawking days are over.” There are thousands of influencers clawing to fill her […]
A Michelin 5-Star restaurant has just gone for the jugular. French chef Arni Onwee has wowed the food world with a semi-soup that is actually just 99% high fat cream with a little spice. “You eat it like a soup, […]
“The pogo sticks are hi-tech inventions, and runners should be able to get a steady 14 foot bounce forward going. We don’t know exactly how we’re going to fix the calypso drums to the pogo sticks yet. We intend for […]
“New evidence suggests that lip filler flows to the brain, replacing gray matter directly. The more injections, the less brain,” says science maverick Gary Vue. He held up x-rays of ground-zero patients. “See that, almost no brain there.” Indeed, the […]
97 pound boxer Mac Freely personally challenged 348 pound pro boxer and belt champion named “Monster”. His coach Blanka Reilly’s only statement before the fight: “Mac says he’s been watching the tapes and found a weakness, that we’ll see him […]
“He started yell-crying that he just wants animals to sing him sea shanties. He ate nothing but deer jerky for two weeks. He did Homer Simpson impressions for like 4 days straight. Then he sold his car, bought a super […]
It was a special moment, like witnessing a rare celestial event. 59 year old Gert managed to download-and-open an attachment after an incredibly high number of very detailed in-person tutorials. “Just like a rare supernova, or a perfect sunset, this […]
“I know my home is huge, but the estate is only a couple acres. How can I house 3,214 migrants like this? It’s also like 87% men. We’re literally shoulder to shoulder. I tried going to my vacation home, but […]
Ultra vain friends made a death pact: “If one of them died, the other would have their face transplanted to the other’s body. She’s choosing her left breast as the target, and already there is $300 million waiting in an […]
