Controversial Indian Street Food Cook Book

The cooking world is afire as edgy new cookbook just hit the mainstream scene. The recipes include controversial steps, like: stirring pots of food with an unwashed foot, squeezing dough through toes, and gargling sauces before spitting them into the skillet.

“India’s Finest Street Foods” cookbook release was just two days ago. The reviews are mixed, but the spotlight is shining very bright.

“Isn’t India where all the gross food is made?” said a negative online review, “Like scratching b#lls right before they serve you. I think they know it’s gross, but it gives them a kick watching you eat it.”

Another a positive review stated, “It’s really risky, and that’s why I like it. You don’t have to follow the recipes completely, you know, you can skip the… extra things.”

We flipped through the book, page by page, amazed at the sharp photo quality. We were also amazed at photos of actual feet stirring actual pots of food. “How can their feet handle that intense heat anyways?” asked one reviewer.

One recipe requires taking a finished Indian marsala and actually dipping your sweaty b#lls in it, swirling around, making eye contact with the customer, and then nodding in complete seriousness. It’s actually printed in the recipe, to do that.

“If you are a fan of armpit-press kolache things, then this book will be a hit with your family. Not sure how to process the dipping b#lls part. That has to be illegal if minors are present, right?” said our producer. A good point.

A DEI representative said, “Anything but embracing this national heritage is filthy bigotry.” A passerby actually took a running dive and slapped her across the face. We were forced to spend the next two hours sheepishly talking with police about the incident.