Putin now wants a smaller target that may be harder to get, as desires to take over Ukraine are shifting. Vladimir announces to the public, “My career coach says, pick something that will challenge you, but not use up all your resources, something that will lead to a nice path of retirement. I want to make a mark on the world this decade, and while Ukraine is good strategically, Barbados makes my life coach happy.”
We cashed in several favors to get an interview with Putin’s life coach Sergey Romonof:
Q: What do you think about Putin’s recent decisions?
A: “He’s acknowledging he bit of a little more than he can chew, but that’s nothing. We can work through this with a little positive affirmation.”
Q: Barbados is smaller than Ukraine but it’s very far away and likely the U.S. will clean his clock, no?
A: “Every dream deserves a moment, and the pros-and-cons chart for Barbados were a little more forgiving than taking the entirety of Ukraine. Plus he could always just choose a different island nation, as redirection is a part of personal growth. That’s what’s so great about life, you live and learn.”
Q: Well, we are talking about risks of nuclear warfare with such large nations.
A: “Every challenge has risks. We Russians are tough and like a good challenge, unless it is too difficult on a day-to-day basis.”
Q: Doesn’t that contradict?
A: “I suppose so, but there are only so many hours in a day that are not below freezing. So live, laugh, love, my brother.”
Sergey then swilled the rest of a warm bottle of vodka, and closed his eyes for a moment which grew to several minutes. We left his 1976 converted box truck apartment, and let him sleep it off.
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