“New evidence suggests that lip filler flows to the brain, replacing gray matter directly. The more injections, the less brain,” says science maverick Gary Vue.
He held up x-rays of ground-zero patients. “See that, almost no brain there.” Indeed, the area within the skull looked like a near uniform mass of congealed vanilla pudding. “There’s no shapes, no bulbs, no wrinkles, no… parts. Hannibal Lector could spoon that brain out like a crème soufle.”
“Asian chefs are looking to replicate the process in cows. They really like chewy-gel-like textures in foods. They are going for it.”
“Not sure why we are trending race-bending feature changes. Only a few races have predominantly puffy lips. That’s okay. That’s great. Next we’re going to have white people get tight curly afro transplants? I mean, I guess we could do that, but why?” said Denzel Clemens.
“Every trend deserves its moment in the spotlight,” said plastic surgery connoisseur Boo-Boo Grassier. She was once a man, and has endured 36 surgical procedures, including 2.5 pounds of lip injections. “I don’t really use my brain much, so I’m not worried. Besides I like the idea of having a creamy brain, it’s different.”
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