Huge Hovercraft Mauls Beach

“Due to the soft nature of the hovercraft cushion, the super soft sand, and the perfect gentle sloping water levels – no one was hurt,” said Police Chief Gud Mackey

“Seems crazy, because I saw people flying through the air, a dozen at a time, all down the beach, families, kids, pets, everything. I even saw a whole Mexican family reunion get chunneled out, flamenco guitars and all. Overall, it was like 300-400 people tossed around like a load of laundry. They all got up and walked away, some of them chuckling like it was a good time,” said witness Jerry Boliver.

Beaches are now seeking out the hovercraft plow as a fun ride… like a community service.

“The kids really love it when the hovercraft drives it’s 11,000 pound housing right on top of their heads. They say it tickles,” said shocked kindergarten teacher who was suddenly sucked beneath the hovercraft which had secretly careened from behind.

“Some people say it tingles like their first kiss, because of the air flow, and being suddenly turfed into the sand, and then catapulted through the air by some sort of friction force. It pinches them out into the air, like when you pinch a balloon and then let it slip out. Sounds romantic,” stated Big John Coolie.