First Autonomous Robot Looks Like Fat B#stard from Austin Powers

“This robot looks, feels, and even smells human. It stubs its toe often, and cusses after it happens. Scientists around the world can’t take their eyes off this big beautiful boy,” said a visibly proud spokesperson for Tesla’s robot division.

“Sure it’s a little strange he looks just like Fat B#stard from that movie. We had different plans, but all the wires, metal bones, and gyros took up more room than we hoped. The first skin mold was for a 120 pound American hottie. But the realism of behavior wasn’t there. We added more complexity, which increased the size. We had to up-size to a Robert Downy Junior skin with a big gut and really thick legs. The more realistic the robot behaved, the more cogs and fibers we added – we ended up with a 500lb man-giant. The wide legged stance is important to hold all the weight. While its much larger than we hoped, it’s a big step for mankind. The Scottish hat and thick accent really helps move the concept forward, we think.”

Robotics specialist from Wire Boy Magazine stated, “It’s a marvel, that’s for sure. Geez. Could they have made him a little more well-groomed at least? Less sloppy. The bot looks and moves so real, but do we really need to see gobs of spit fly out of his mouth constantly? Do we need to hear the armpit and thigh sweat slosh around with every movement? I get it, it’s a lubricant. Let’s work on the slosh sound though.”

“Why does he smell like fish oil and Bubba Gum?” asked televised interviewer, Tom Bock.

The robotics expert replied, “He smells like fish oil from all the WD-40 working on his joints. The bubblegum flavor is actually a scent additive to mask the fish smell. We’re working on it. It gets old quick, smelling nearly rotten catfish as we all watch the robot bobble around and stub its toe over and over.”