Historians are declaring the capsule “a targeted attack on modern whining.” As the wax seal was broken, and the old oak cover removed, onlookers gazed at what was locked inside: – three rusty daggers stained with “the blood of kings” […]
It was the prompt that broke the camel’s back: an unnamed “Chad” forced ChatGPT to analyze dozens of nude selfies; then with increasing anger, forced GPT to write a list of 100 genital compliments, over and over again. The many […]
State Police are calling the rubber ducks an interstate hazard. The trend of Jeep owners leaving tiny rubber ducks on other Jeeps takes a dystopic turn. Police radios now blare with calls like “category 3 Duck disaster” and “Bloody Ducking”; […]
The Millennial llama jokes ran for 8-10 years. It led to insanely high new llama ranch numbers during 2005 to 2015. Federal regulators have issued a livestock order after discovering that North and South America now has over 14 million […]
The new smart mirror does a penetrating A.I. gaze into your soul. It will then display a graphical report, telling users if their energy is compatible with public expectations. The Supra Vibe has cameras, motion sensors, a butt-thermometer, and a […]
The re-assuring smile just disappeared. The Man in the Moon now shows a peculiar frown, and scientists say it changed overnight. “The moon didn’t rotate. The smile didn’t fade. As the evening rolled in, the face was just different,” said […]
Apple fans, known for their willingness to suffer for the brand, are largely defending the radical update: “I used to undo emails,” said one man in line at an Apple Store, “but maybe I needed to send them. Maybe the […]
Betsy Wade was the biggest male body-builder in the world just a few short months ago. Formerly Mack Davis, a goliath among men has undergone a 3 month transgender-ing process, in order to win and take home the $800,000 prize. […]
“Looks like the Epstein files have been corralled and are now on a rocket heading straight to Jupiter. Reporters caught wind of the news just before launch, and they flooded the tarmac entrance, demanding answers. The official statement was released […]
“This robot looks, feels, and even smells human. It stubs its toe often, and cusses after it happens. Scientists around the world can’t take their eyes off this big beautiful boy,” said a visibly proud spokesperson for Tesla’s robot division. […]
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