“If anyone wants a tariff, now is the time to get one. If you don’t have a tariff, it means you are insignificant. Who wants to be left out? Really these tariffs are a way to distinguish yourself, just like […]
“We needed to bridge the static between America and the EU. Online, we see insults and social competition that builds up between the two giants – often when America is not actively preventing Europe from being invaded. We need a […]
A few years ago, America was economically forced to use LED lightbulbs, making all availability of incandescent bulbs disappear almost overnight. “People with discerning eyes noticed a much higher light quality in the homes of the super wealthy. A 300 […]
In the old days, recruiter stereotypes were more of a mental filter. This is the first time we found prejudice hard coded into company’s hiring software. We got a secret mole hired, codenamed “Juan”, into the American tech business, which […]
Gordon is known for his outrageous temper, and willingness to humiliate people on his television show. After the announcement of his final episode the entire cast hosted a surprise party where Gordon received the farewell cake he deserved. “It was […]
With both party’s foaming at the mouth, and Democrats frustrated by so many swift moving executive action, they have prepared countermeasures. The first order is to rename the newly coined Gulf of America. “It only makes sense because the Gulf […]
Disney is reviving a long forgotten character, and thrusting it into center stage. “Wompa is a formidable warrior, just short of Jedi skill level. His species deserves a broader roll in the Star Wars universe. We’re reviving him in a […]
“I just wanted to feel like me again, but sometimes the testosterone supplementation made me feel like a raging bull.” After signing up for a trial of ‘T’, 48 year old Dan Schuler was surprised to feel his behavior changing. […]
A controversial new restaurant serves what appears to be a normal menu, but customers soon discover that every plate has varied forms of 100% hot dog meat. Also, everything involving bread is the same materials as a plain 100% Wonder […]
Best Buy is once again shrinking the window of time you get to return a poorly designed product. “We’re tired of honoring the 30 day return that Americans expect. It’s best for the company to shrink the return window to […]
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