“Due to the soft nature of the hovercraft cushion, the super soft sand, and the perfect gentle sloping water levels – no one was hurt,” said Police Chief Gud Mackey “Seems crazy, because I saw people flying through the air, […]
Hippos are already known for quaking flatulence, but Chinese scientists, untethered by regulation, have genetically modified one special hippopotamus. “BooBoo the hippo has a perfect diameter of intestine, a complete imbalance of gut biome, and a scientifically perfect nether regions […]
“Not long ago, you hooked up a stereo and that was your only tech problem for the next 7 years. Now it takes three remotes to turn on my t.v. The menus are f#cked. The menu for one device is […]
“We are forced to combine the word slut and loot. It’s our obligation to place language where new definitions are required – some women are actually beyond just being slutty, but not all of these women are paid whores. We […]
“The custom car was 3D printed by the owner himself. It’s literally the only one on the entire planet. Jamall really f#cked up, and since its his 23rd offense, he’s in a lot of trouble,” said police chief Sammy Pickelo […]
Behind the scenes, the lead writer revealed, “There are a lot of truly impossible things we could do with a b#tthole. I knew it would be difficult to get Tom Cruise into this idea, but that’s why we got the […]
“After a long trial, we have a workplace that’s 100% diversified. In a corporation of 1,000+ people, every single one of them is either a different race and orientation, or a dual mixed breed. This gave us enough combinations to […]
“The new Florida park is a blast unless you weight 137 to 147 pounds: that sweet spot leads to systematic bodily destruction,” said our local whistle blower. Anyone that size will get punished. In one visit you may get: – […]
We stood on the long Chipotle line, watching ingredients being dumped onto tortillas. There was an odd tension in the air. Customers ask for extra scoops of toppings. The workers try to scoop as little as possible. It’s a game […]
“The modern world revolves around chemical development. Chemicals are everywhere, from toothpaste, to glue, to every type of plastic and new age fabric. We need them to support our way of life,” said Mark Anthony, FDA spokesperson. “We all understand […]
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