“Senator Lincoln Demark speaks loudly and with absolute conviction. But, for an entire week we fact checked his statements from every angle. 98% of what he says is completely wrong. We tricked him into a psych assessment to see if […]
“My job was to make the company as profitable as possible. It was a wild success. Sure, I had to take one for the team. We used an A.I. algorithm to auto-deny as many requests as possible. It removes the […]
Joe Biden has decided to vacate the white house early, without two-weeks notice. “Ya’ll didn’t vote for me again, so I’m checking out of this dive and jetting to Mount Denali for a b#tchin wing suit drop. Check ya later, […]
For some Santa has come early this year, as the new low cost home building law began last Tuesday at 12pm. For others, a serious of complex emotions are welling up as D.C. publishes another serious of mind boggling laws. […]
The Federal Reserve announced Tuesday that they have run out of ideas to inflate the economy. They added that “There is no way in Frosty’s bright hell we can pay off a 30 Trillion dollar deficit.” Inner circles have let […]
“Jeff just needed to check on the Amazon electric bill personally, as required, in a few different states, and kept getting stuck in those infinite loop robo-menus, three days in a row. His last words were actually screams: “Why the […]
“Kids look up to us. Time to put the kick-a#s back in class. Lets rock.” said Mark Vox, math teacher. “A really annoying kid took a whole wing of our school hostage for seven hours. Those days are over. We’re […]
“Gary’s beheading might be a bit shocking for the ladies, but the kid was obsessed with football, just cursed with a tiny body. Based on his interests, I think Gary would be satisfied with his exit,” said Cole Tramm, parent […]
“The pogo sticks are hi-tech inventions, and runners should be able to get a steady 14 foot bounce forward going. We don’t know exactly how we’re going to fix the calypso drums to the pogo sticks yet. We intend for […]
“I know my home is huge, but the estate is only a couple acres. How can I house 3,214 migrants like this? It’s also like 87% men. We’re literally shoulder to shoulder. I tried going to my vacation home, but […]
