“This robot looks, feels, and even smells human. It stubs its toe often, and cusses after it happens. Scientists around the world can’t take their eyes off this big beautiful boy,” said a visibly proud spokesperson for Tesla’s robot division. […]
“A few years ago we removed 40% of the menu – can we cut back more?” a question uttered by a slick-haired man in a tailored pin stripe suit. “How many of these expensive ingredients can we get rid of […]
Gordon is known for his outrageous temper, and willingness to humiliate people on his television show. After the announcement of his final episode the entire cast hosted a surprise party where Gordon received the farewell cake he deserved. “It was […]
Disney is reviving a long forgotten character, and thrusting it into center stage. “Wompa is a formidable warrior, just short of Jedi skill level. His species deserves a broader roll in the Star Wars universe. We’re reviving him in a […]
A controversial new restaurant serves what appears to be a normal menu, but customers soon discover that every plate has varied forms of 100% hot dog meat. Also, everything involving bread is the same materials as a plain 100% Wonder […]
“We are forced to combine the word slut and loot. It’s our obligation to place language where new definitions are required – some women are actually beyond just being slutty, but not all of these women are paid whores. We […]
Behind the scenes, the lead writer revealed, “There are a lot of truly impossible things we could do with a b#tthole. I knew it would be difficult to get Tom Cruise into this idea, but that’s why we got the […]
“After a long trial, we have a workplace that’s 100% diversified. In a corporation of 1,000+ people, every single one of them is either a different race and orientation, or a dual mixed breed. This gave us enough combinations to […]
We stood on the long Chipotle line, watching ingredients being dumped onto tortillas. There was an odd tension in the air. Customers ask for extra scoops of toppings. The workers try to scoop as little as possible. It’s a game […]
Tragedy has struck White House plumbing in what was initially thought to be a terrorist attack. “There was a moment when I thought I was going to die,” said the President in an urgent press message. The prolonged sound of […]
