“We needed to bridge the static between America and the EU. Online, we see insults and social competition that builds up between the two giants – often when America is not actively preventing Europe from being invaded. We need a […]
“A few years ago we removed 40% of the menu – can we cut back more?” a question uttered by a slick-haired man in a tailored pin stripe suit. “How many of these expensive ingredients can we get rid of […]
Hippos are already known for quaking flatulence, but Chinese scientists, untethered by regulation, have genetically modified one special hippopotamus. “BooBoo the hippo has a perfect diameter of intestine, a complete imbalance of gut biome, and a scientifically perfect nether regions […]
“Winning is my best look, never forget I’m a killer. The rematch will end in death,” said a 9 foot tall mecha Mike Tyson in a dimly lit, run-down hotel room. The look in Iron Mike’s eyes was different: there […]
“My job was to make the company as profitable as possible. It was a wild success. Sure, I had to take one for the team. We used an A.I. algorithm to auto-deny as many requests as possible. It removes the […]
“I thought it was an error, but it was Friday right before the bank closed. I think the adjuster stamped the loan with the wrong stamper,” said Brian Jells, loan officer. “But, I just kept my mouth shut cuz the […]
Joe Biden has decided to vacate the white house early, without two-weeks notice. “Ya’ll didn’t vote for me again, so I’m checking out of this dive and jetting to Mount Denali for a b#tchin wing suit drop. Check ya later, […]
For some Santa has come early this year, as the new low cost home building law began last Tuesday at 12pm. For others, a serious of complex emotions are welling up as D.C. publishes another serious of mind boggling laws. […]
The Federal Reserve announced Tuesday that they have run out of ideas to inflate the economy. They added that “There is no way in Frosty’s bright hell we can pay off a 30 Trillion dollar deficit.” Inner circles have let […]
“Jeff just needed to check on the Amazon electric bill personally, as required, in a few different states, and kept getting stuck in those infinite loop robo-menus, three days in a row. His last words were actually screams: “Why the […]
