Elites Still Using Incandescent Bulbs: Secret Stash Found

A few years ago, America was economically forced to use LED lightbulbs, making all availability of incandescent bulbs disappear almost overnight. “People with discerning eyes noticed a much higher light quality in the homes of the super wealthy. A 300 member team called the ‘Light Moles’ have gutted the secret plot to maintain light superiority: the wealthy elite have hoarded and stashed an unlimited supply of incandescent bulbs,” stated our secret whistleblower.

“I wanted answers, and after a month of digging, I befriended a wealthy landowner’s adult son, got him super drunk, and wow, he just spilled the beans,” our whistleblower continued. “At first the elite thought bulb hoarding was the only way. But they privately united and realized their infinite wealth could easily secure a secret bulb factory in Indonesia. The factory even makes the incandescent bulbs look like LED bulbs, with the little white sleeves on the lower half of the bulb.

The recent World Economic Forum event was ended early as wealthy businessmen were pelted with the remaining incandescent bulbs owned by ‘the poors’, who laughed mercilessly as bulbs shattered against the business men’s over-starched suits.