Face Transplant: But Not On Face

Ultra vain friends made a death pact: “If one of them died, the other would have their face transplanted to the other’s body. She’s choosing her left breast as the target, and already there is $300 million waiting in an escrowed OnlyFans for when the surgery is complete. They all want to see it, and she wants to show it off,” said her P.R. spokesperson Dana Dufoe. “I recommended waiting until the transplant has healed for the showing. She does seem eager to get to that cash and there are some specific fans that want to see the entire healing process. Hold on, I need to go find something to settle my stomach, lots of indigestion from having to think about this process.”

“Yes there is a lot of confusion and repulsion surrounding this scenario. Many politicians are trying to block the procedure but can’t establish a grounds for it. If both sides volunteered and had both a contract in writing and on video – it is what it is… I guess. I think that face is going on that tiddy,” said state Rep. Barry Gobo.