Fiance Depressed : Ring not Really a Blood-Diamond

Shiela Makk had never been happier, as her boyfriend Terry Mandovin proposed on their third adults only trip to Disney World. “We opened the park three days in a row, and really loved the magic of our yearly adventure. We ate all the expensive snacks, and did every side quest possible, including the “Secret Feel Up Elmo” booth, which was weirder than we thought, maybe even shady. Terry proposed to me at the end of the third day, just when the fireworks were shooting off near the enchanted castle.”

Shiela then grew quiet in the interview, sighed deeply, and wiped away the beginning of tears with the corner of a napkin she carries around for her new reality.

“I was in love. Naive, but in love. A few day after we got back home from Florida, I had the diamond tested. This beautiful ring …,” she finished between sobs, “ the diamond tested differently than I thought… it was not harvested in a 3rd World country by indentured servants and child slaves.”

We had to console Shiela as the sobbing started. She moaned, “I HAD to break off the engagement. Terry kept trying to change my mind, telling me the diamond was created with the absolute cutting edge technology, proving that humankind could rule the elements. He cited diamond clarity and sparkle as being superior to natural diamonds. He mentioned only a trained lapidary can even tell the difference. He told me to think about the kids who wouldn’t have to breath rock dust all day in dangerous caverns. It went on and on. As he was talking, I  saw a cardinal bird fly by behind him, and that’s the sign that my deceased Grandma is visiting me, telling me to trust my heart. So, in the middle of Terry’s babble, it became so clear. I slapped him hard to make him stop talking, and I dropped the bulls##t ring into his hand. It was over.”

As our crew discussed the benefits of human created diamonds, Shiela didn’t want to hear it. Her mind was set, as she sat and waited for a self-hailed uber, browsing Tinder on her phone, she swiped left on nearly 732 men without a single swipe right. Her new profile reading, “Looking for a real man, who can handle me, big and ready for love. No lab diamond bois. Better like Disney.”