The Millennial llama jokes ran for 8-10 years. It led to insanely high new llama ranch numbers during 2005 to 2015. Federal regulators have issued a livestock order after discovering that North and South America now has over 14 million llamas, a population spike driven almost entirely by millennial meme culture. Officials cite a decade of Reddit dances, ironic tote bags, and one disastrous Youtube cartoon series as the cause of a livestock surplus “we are no longer spiritually equipped to manage.”
“Llamas are not a joke,” said Department of Agriculture spokesperson Dana Lee. “They eat, they spit, and they form aggressive livestock gangs that kick and spit as well. And now we have to kill a million of them because people wouldn’t stop using the llama emoji.” Government plans include a national buyback program and “ceremonial mercy parades” to ease public backlash. They are even contemplating llama zoos, that feature mostly penned up llama gang members.”
Former llama influencers have gone quiet, but one influencer stated “I made $400K last year licensing llama NFTs that wink. Now I have 60 llamas packed into my borderline suburban yard.”
Llama execution protocol will begin Monday. Each region will conduct its own “warm phase-down,” with a Respect-Rights Forced Exodus, including silent discos, costume parties, and what one Colorado rancher described as “a spa day followed by ruthless thunder.”
[PHOTO: Llama prepares massive spit glob for spitting ]
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