Man Gets Online Degree to Turn On Television

“Not long ago, you hooked up a stereo and that was your only tech problem for the next 7 years. Now it takes three remotes to turn on my t.v. The menus are f#cked. The menu for one device is always acting weird. Once a week, I have to power-cycle my TV, streaming box, modem, or router – and who knows which one. And everything is asking me for a g#ddam password.”  Just then Manny shook his head clearly in distress, “I need to stop the feelings of rage and impending doom every time I touch the remote, so I decided it’s time to become a certified technician,” stated Manny Teslini. “It’s not what I want.”

We asked how his wife was faring, using all the new technology. Manny hesitated, his eyes watered and a light sobbing began. “Every day I get two or three questions about how to work the streaming services, use the emails, or how to print things. I can barely get through a couple hours of work without being interrupted. I don’t think I have a choice, it’s either give up my Netflix or get six years of schooling to surmount the 7-8 tech problems that arise every day.”

Just as he finished that sentence, we heard a deep grinding sound coming from the other room. Manny groaned and slammed his fist on the couch cushion. “It’s the g#ddam ice maker on the new fridge. It just makes grinding sounds and stops making ice. I have to take the back panel off and clear a one inch ball of frost build-up every three weeks, or the piece of s#it stops working.” Manny stood up and left his house through the front door. We asked his wife what Manny was doing. She said he could either be slamming some heavy weights on the bench press, or chortling inhalants to forget the tech drama.