54 year old Jack Styles has been reunited with his unforgotten twenty dollar bill used to snort cocaine for an entire year in 1989. “It’s been like 19 years since I’ve seen this thing, and it brings back so many memories, it brings a tear to my eye.” Jack unrolled the bill which he now keeps in his shirt pocket for good luck. He showed us the drawing of Bart Simpson with enormous pupils that he drew on the bill, to the side of it reading “Jacky Boy’s Tooter” in his own signature script.
“Last week I was at a McDonald’s picking up a bag of fish sandwiches and sundaes for myself and the kids, and that’s when the cashier handed it to me. I swear my jaw dropped. At first I thought I was being pranked, but then my world view unraveled for a quick second till I snapped it together. We’re 5 states away from when I spent that 20 all those years ago. How th #$%# did it get here? I don’t know if it’s divine intervention, or a sign from the party god himself. I’ve considered picking up the habit again…”
Jack had us look closer in great detail, “That swooping mark down low, that there was from my friend who tried to draw boobs on the Bart Simpson. I snatched it way before he could though. Those scratches there are from my really long fingernails, I wasn’t clipping my nails very often during that stint. And there… that dark mark, that’s from a hooker’s…” Unfortunately we ended the interview due to time constraints.
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