Meteorite: Unexpected Material

“Meteorites can be quit valuable, and there are hunters who track them down. People travel to scan the soils where shooting star sightings have been reported. This week, a strange space rock made it to Earth. So many people had their hands on that rock, there’s even a picture of Mayor Brimly licking the large rock for good luck. People were petting the rock constantly, a local cult was even worshiping it,” said local journalist Pete Whiley. When the hunter who found it had it analyzed, the results stunned everyone.

“It’s definitely a meteorite. It didn’t come from this planet directly at least,” said astro-geologist Miguel Brimly. “It has all the markings of a long life in outer space. I’m truly puzzled at how this specific object traveled here from so far away. There’s not any known life on other planets around us. Millions… billions of miles… maybe trillions of miles away – there’s no other explanation.” Miguel’s modesty was delaying his report, but we finally got him to talk, “I don’t know how this is possible. It’s a fossilized T-rex turd. In meteorite form. It’s a really weird this arrived on Earth at all.”

“Are you sure this… turd didn’t leave Earth and go into Space?” we asked.

“The chances of a turd flying off Earth, orbiting around for a few million years, and then coming back to us… well, it’s impossible. This rock dates back way before our Jurassic eras,” replied Miguel. We watched him eating a sandwich while picking up the turd again and again, looking at it from every angle, then grabbing his sandwich again without washing his hands. “Don’t worry,” he said. “The fecal contaminants are long gone.” The women in the room gave him the ‘ick look’ and had to walk away. The men just watch him fondle the turd and go back to his sandwich again and again. “Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s not poop anymore!”