Woman Uses Two Pizzas as Shoes, Slips, Sues Pizzaria
Woman of 59 years old, Sue Moochu made the poor decision of refusing to wear shoes into local pizzeria that clearly required shoes. An argument unfolded that was reported as “heated” and “bizarre” and ended with the woman removing two piping-hot pizzas directly off the conveyor belt oven with her bare hands. The stringy haired, heavyset woman was yelling, “I got yer shoes right here,” over and over again.
A customer who witnessed the fray, Mickey Hail, relayed, “So the two workers and the lady were yelling and swatting at eachother, then the lady grabbed some packaging twine and actually tied both pizzas to the bottom of her feet like they were shoes, yelling “How’s that? How’s that?”. She did it all so fast like she was a professional shoe maker. When she stood up, we got to see something really special. She woman started swinging her legs around, like she was some kind of samurai, doing kicks and making the Bruce Lee sounds like “Woooooo wooo”. The woman quickly defeated both the cashier and the manager, who were clearly very out of shape, but fought with hearts of lions. In the end the workers fell in defeat: they laid there clasping eachother in fear as they awaited a finishing move to end their lives.
Then the old woman yelled “Don’t worry I’ll pay for the pizza shoes”, and when she reached in her purse the cheese layer must have slipped, she took a colossal fall and really hurt her back.”
The paramedics took the woman away quickly. The next day Sue Moochu, now known as the Pizza Foot Attacker, actually filed a lawsuit against the pizzeria, though unrelated to the fall. The lawsuit detailed that the two pizzas on her feet had much less pepperoni than the advertisement photo showed. We followed up and found out that the courts awarded her the cost of both pizzas and enough to buy some actual shoes. The defendants left with nothing, as the judge stated, “The big manager should have taken her out. I can’t give them a win for that shameful defeat.”
It goes to show that keeping your flexibility into old age and having a good Bruce Lee ‘Woooo’ could really pay off.